Saturday, November 18, 2006
i missed blogging ytd again... don't really got the mood to because was feeling very weak... fever, cough and flu just came together. this few days has been feeling really very low. so many things stuck in my mind and can't release them... all things just don't meet my expectation. i am not the CQ because OC don't think i got the power to control peoples as in i'm TOO quiet? i don't really know also or maybe OC just look down on me. well, life gotta be more tough if roy ORD because i know that the new CQ won't do works and in his mind there's only OS this job. and he will push all the CQ works to me and he's getting the CQ rank and salary. 2nd is i tot i can have my bike by this month but the person doesn't agree with installment because what if really something goes wrong then who will handle the rest of the amount? anyway, i've already makeup my mind after i got my licence then i get a bike. next is to worry about my future... should i just go for pvt 'O' or go for skills such as like be a hair stylish? lol, sound weird right? i don't think i got the skill to be one too. so i think might as well go for pvt 'O' bah. what to do? my life is completely in a mess now. life is just like driving on highway... once you're on the wrong path you got no choice but to continue your journey. how i wish i can just end my life without pain. from the very first i've already choosen wrong path to walk on. i feel so useless!!! i just don't know how to continue my life anymore without her. i need her badly! how am i gonna forget her? will someone please help me get her outta my mind? she has just completely disappear in my life. whenever i need a shoulder to lie on, she's just beside me... but i've betrayed her LOVE for me. each time the bus passby her house area, i can really see our shadow there when i walked her home... now i really understand what's TRUE LOVE. it's hard to find someone that you loves and she loves you too. i'm so regret that i gave up so many of them... till now i am waiting for that someone...
8:27 PM
