Wednesday, June 27, 2007
went to euro funfair yesterday with js and lao to play... at first didn't wanna play just wanna take a look... but js jio me play and somemore i am feeling so down so decided to give it a try... maybe after playing i will feel much more better.
and ya after playing i feel much better but after awhile i'm feeling down again. hais, everything just need times to heal. but how long? i really can't stand it. i'm gonna burst soon!
today when i reach home i saw her towel were fold nicely beside my smelly. and the colour look different! then i smell... omg! must be my MUM!!! she washed!!! hais! i was so angry and sad at the same time. didn't know what to do then in end called my mum and give her a scolding...
am i a bad child? scolded her because of that... but... hais!
euro wheel! rejected her when she asked me to bring her. everything is too late!
i'm ready to set off and forget everything!
i've taken some video while i'm in the air but didn't upload because i'm lazy! maybe i will do that someday...
8:10 PM
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
everything is finished between me and her. friends encouraged me to call her and talk things out. at first i was so afraid she will reject my calls but in the end i didn't care. i called her and in the end she finally picked up my phone calls.
so i explain things to her and begged her to return, but she said everything is too late. why she didn't want to give me a chance to prove? i willing to give up everything for her and i willing to change!
but she's so heartless towards me... i agree in the past was my fault... i took her for granted but i've never ever took your LOVE for granted! i know i'm a very bad bf that always makes you sad or cry but i love you the most!
i hate my attitude so much! i was so bad towards her whenever i was angry... yes for this is my fault... she told me alot that night saying that i didn't give her any freedom. maybe she was right, i never give her any freedom...
why did i choose to call her that night? because i couldn't sleep at all until i must hear from her saying that she don't love me anymore. and yes in the end she says that... before that i asked her if she fall for anyone? she says NO. but today 260607 she is attached.
220607 is the date we break off... hais! i'm totally not myself that night during on the phone with her. i just don't understand why... what's happening to me? in the past i wouldn't do this all just because of a girl but now?
i feel so blank this few days without her... wondering how is she doing and so on... right now i can't even describe how i feel... i mean how can she find herself another so fast? it's just only 4 days ago and she can completely forgotten everything about us and start a new life with her new boy?
no matter what i will wish her the best because i care! although i hate her but i just can't put her down yet. yah maybe it takes time but she will forever remain in my heart although our r/s is just only 2 months 14 days.
5:10 PM
Saturday, June 23, 2007
couldn't get to sleep so i decided to login to my blogger and release my sadness here. i could not get to sleep last night because i was keep thinking of her and at the same time hoping to receive her sms.
but whole day she didn't sms me so i didn't sms her too... until today afternoon around 12 plus in the noon i receive a sms from someone saying that she decided to give up this 2 months 13 days of r/s. i was really so shock at that time and my heart just shattered into pieces...
i couldn't show out expression because i was with friends at the smoking corner smoking at that time... it's really so hard to hide it until i went back to office and sat at one corner stoning...
i am so disappointed in her and i was keep thinking did she really wanna break off or someone was behind this? i really miss her so much now but at the same time i hate her too! what am i gonna do? i felt so lonely without her by my side now. hais!
2:02 AM
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
i'm back to blogger again! hais, recently lot of things happen between us. we almost quarrel everyday and i know this is not the way to continue our r/s. i've been to drinking session every friday and she don't like it because she says she afraid i might do something wrong or in another way i will betray her.
so i told her not to worry and i promise i will be back home safe. i understand how she will feel as a gf... i promised her that i won't be going anymore and i promise i will try to reject my friends invites. but i just couldn't stand her spot checking on me.
i still remb on sunday evening when i was still asleep, she was checking on my msn history... and then she found out that i've been talking about girls topic with my friend on msn and there she got angry and she cried... at first i didn't blame her because i understand sometimes she really have to do that because she is my gf afterall... but day by day she's checking me everyday just like her daily works to do...
i really can't take it anymore! what am i to you? why must you check on me everyday?!?!? what did i do wrong? seriously! i've done nothing! why must you do this? you know i won't like it and you insist to do this and you wanna cause us a breakup? hais!
9:57 PM
Sunday, June 10, 2007
finally i'm back from blogging again! tot i gone MIA? nope! just lazy to visit my blog. nothing really change in my life actually. only some drinking session with my camp mates @ BQ. still got so many bottles waiting for me to clear. omg! can die... guess i'll post some pics here before i go off. :)
taken this @ j8 toilet. guess who is he? and the one beside is me lah ok.
HAHS! stupid bangala sleeping @ playground.
taken @ ??? (forgotten which station already. =X)
ok! that's all! logging off...
11:58 PM
